Navigating Adulthood as an Autistic Person: The Unseen Struggles

Autism is often discussed in the context of childhood, but autistic adults face their own set of unique and often overlooked challenges. These difficulties extend beyond the common hurdles of daily life and are exacerbated by a society that still lacks understanding and accommodation for neurodiversity. While everyone’s experience is different, many autistic adults encounter struggles in social, professional, and even personal contexts that can create significant barriers to leading a fulfilling life.

Employment Challenges

Securing and maintaining employment can be a daunting task for autistic adults. Many workplaces are structured around neurotypical ways of thinking and working, from how meetings are held to how work is assessed. Sensory sensitivities, difficulties with social interaction, and an often misunderstood communication style can lead to misunderstandings with colleagues or managers. Despite having the skills and competence, many autistic adults struggle to navigate office politics or thrive in open-plan environments that can be overwhelming.

Job interviews, a critical first step, are themselves a barrier. Traditional interviews often test a candidate's ability to "sell" themselves, an inherently social task that can disadvantage someone with difficulties in reading social cues or expressing themselves under pressure. As a result, many autistic adults face underemployment, with some turning to freelance or gig work where they can have more control over their work environment and interactions.

Social Isolation and Loneliness

Autistic individuals often experience difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships, both platonic and romantic. Small talk, reading between the lines, and understanding the unwritten rules of social interactions can be a constant source of anxiety. These difficulties can lead to social isolation, as it becomes exhausting or frustrating to try and "fit in" with a neurotypical world that often doesn’t make accommodations.

Many autistic adults express a desire for connection, but social rejection or past negative experiences can make it harder to trust others. The pressure to mask or hide autistic traits to appear “normal” further adds to the mental burden, creating a cycle of loneliness and exhaustion. Over time, this can impact self-esteem and mental health, with many autistic adults experiencing co-occurring conditions such as anxiety or depression.

Sensory Overload and Meltdowns

The world is a sensory minefield for many autistic adults. Bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, or even certain textures can lead to sensory overload, a state where it becomes difficult to process the surrounding environment. In extreme cases, sensory overload can trigger meltdowns, which are intense emotional responses that are difficult to control.

These sensory sensitivities can limit where autistic individuals can go and what they can do, making simple tasks like grocery shopping or commuting to work highly stressful. Public spaces are rarely designed with neurodiversity in mind, and even well-meaning friends or family may not fully understand the impact of these experiences.

Executive Functioning Difficulties

Executive functioning is a cognitive skill that helps people organize, plan, and execute tasks. Many autistic adults struggle with this aspect of daily life, leading to difficulties with time management, decision-making, and staying on top of responsibilities. Tasks that others may consider simple, like paying bills on time or keeping up with household chores, can become overwhelming when the brain is constantly juggling a barrage of sensory input or social expectations.

This can lead to burnout, a state of physical and mental exhaustion that can make even routine activities seem insurmountable. Autistic burnout is a real and often misunderstood phenomenon, where the constant effort to meet the demands of a neurotypical world takes a toll, leading to withdrawal and decreased functioning.

Mental Health and Misdiagnosis

Many autistic adults grow up undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, especially women and people of color, due to stereotypes and biases about how autism "should" look. As a result, they may struggle for years with feelings of being different without understanding why, leading to a higher risk of developing mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or even trauma-related disorders.

Misdiagnosis can also lead to treatments that don’t address the root cause of their struggles. For instance, someone may be diagnosed with social anxiety when, in fact, their difficulty with social interactions stems from autism, not a fear of judgment. Without an accurate diagnosis, it becomes harder to access appropriate therapies, accommodations, or support.

Relationships and Intimacy

Navigating romantic relationships can be particularly challenging for autistic adults. Miscommunication, differing sensory needs, and challenges with emotional expression can cause misunderstandings between partners. Neurotypical partners may feel frustrated by their autistic partner’s need for alone time, difficulty with emotional reciprocity, or discomfort with physical affection, leading to strain in the relationship.

Autistic individuals may also have trouble recognizing romantic interest, resulting in missed opportunities for connection. Alternatively, they may be more vulnerable to manipulation or abuse due to challenges in reading others’ intentions or asserting their boundaries.

A Lack of Support and Understanding

Perhaps the most profound difficulty for autistic adults is the pervasive lack of understanding from the wider world. Autism doesn’t simply “go away” after childhood, yet much of the support available is focused on children. Many autistic adults report feeling abandoned once they leave school and enter the adult world, where accommodations and support services are scarce.

Without societal understanding, autistic adults are often expected to fit into a world that doesn’t accommodate their needs. From workplaces to healthcare settings, this lack of support can compound the difficulties they already face, making it harder to succeed or feel valued.

The struggles of autistic adults are real and multifaceted, but they often go unnoticed because of society's narrow understanding of autism. Increasing awareness, creating more inclusive workplaces, providing better support services, and encouraging open conversations about neurodiversity are essential steps toward making the world a more accommodating place for autistic adults. With the right understanding and support, autistic adults can thrive, but it starts with acknowledging the challenges they face daily and working to dismantle the barriers in their path.

The CEO of this company is on the autistic spectrum and proof that people with autism can function in a neurotypical world under the right cirumcumstances. It has not been without its difficulties, though. Everyday things that "normal" people take for granted such as social cues and relationships are often foreign to people with autism. As the saying goes, people with autism are running on a different operating system, this one included.